How Do You Know if Your Friends Are Haters? 17 Signs of a Secret Hater 

What are the signs that you are a secret hater? Am I a secret Hater? What are the signs someone hates you?

Before you go on labeling yourself as a secret hater or juggling up the signs together, it’s ideal we take it one step at a time.

Secretly hating people is a common yet often overlooked phenomenon that can harm the hater and those around them. Secret haters harbor negative feelings toward others. Some may not know they are secret haters, while others know they are. 

Whichever category you are, being a secret hater is not fun. It is not a healthy or productive way to interact with others, and it’s essential to recognize the signs and take steps to address these negative emotions. 

This article will explore the signs of hating someone or that you may be a secret hater and offer practical steps to overcome this behavior.


Table of contents


Who Is A Secret Hater?

Before discussing the signs that show you’re a secret hater, who are we describing?

A secret hater is someone who has negative feelings towards others but hides them or expresses them subtly or indirectly. Usually, secret haters appear friendly on the outside but secretly harbor resentment, jealousy, or anger toward others. 

When you secretly hate someone, you find celebrating their wins, successes, and achievements difficult. Also, you may tilt towards gossiping, belittling, or criticizing them behind their backs. 

Secret haters have unresolved negative emotions or insecurities that they are not addressing healthily.

Example of Secret Hating Attitudes

Chances are that you may not know, but here are some examples that you’re exhibiting secret hating behaviors;

  • You appear friendly and supportive to your coworker, secretly undermining their work behind their back.
  • You make sarcastic or passive-aggressive comments that make others feel belittled or uncomfortable.
  • Another example is criticizing the choices and achievements of a family member when you’re not happy.
  • Gossiping and spreading gossip about an acquaintance or friend.
  • You appear loving and supportive as a romantic partner but secretly feel threatened by your partner’s success or accomplishments and try to bring them down.

ALSO READ: Reasons You Should Fall out of Love Fast

17 Sure Signs That You Are a Secret Hater 

Now that you understand who a secret hater is and if you can be one. Let’s look at the signs that you secretly hate your partner, co-worker, or coworker. 

#1. You Often Criticize or Judge Others

Criticism can be good, but when someone is quick to judge or criticize others, it can be a sign that they have unresolved negative emotions or insecurities.

They may be projecting their issues onto others or using criticism to feel better about themselves.

#2. Talking About Other People’s Flaws

Do you find yourself always enjoying discussing other people’s flaws and mistakes? Is the only perfect conversation for you to discuss other people’s flaws?

Talking about people is one of the Things Girls Like To Talk About. However, enjoying talking about other people’s flaws and mistakes: is a sign that you secretly hate them. This behavior can stem from a need to feel superior or to put others down to feel better about oneself.

#3. Have a Hard time Genuinely Celebrating Others’ Successes.

Another person’s success can be frustrating, especially if it is something you expect to happen to you.

However, it could be a sign of jealousy or envy when you struggle to be genuinely happy for others when they succeed or reach a milestone. This is one sign to tell if someone hates you or not.

#4. Feel Pleased at Others’ Misfortune

When you secretly feel pleased that awful things happen to people you don’t like, that’s a big sign you’re a secret hater. It is a sign of hatred!

This signifies a vindictive attitude and suggests that the person enjoys others’ misfortune.

#5. Jealous of Other People’s Accomplishments.

Jealousy is one of the most significant signs of secretly hating people. You feel displeased and envious and wish such never happened to your hater.

This can be a sign of low self-esteem or a belief that one cannot achieve the same level of success.

#6. Gossip About People

Talking about people behind your back once or twice can be considered a one-off. But when it’s a habit and keeps repeating itself, it can be seen as a sign that you hate them.

This behavior can signify a lack of respect for others’ privacy and a desire to spread negative information. And such has an aim: to get others to hate your hater.

#7. Feels Angry When Someone Disagrees with You.

Do you always feel angry or irritated when someone does something you disagree with? Do you always want them to do things as you want?

This could be a sign you hate them. This may also indicate a lack of tolerance for different perspectives or a need for control.

#8. Dismisses People’s Opinions.

Perspective is the spice of conversations and life in itself. However, when you dismiss or belittle other people’s opinions, it’s a sign that you don’t value them or hate their views.

Not only is this one of the signs that you’re a secret hater, but it is also a sign of disrespect and suggests a lack of empathy or consideration for others.

ALSO READ: 13 Killer Signs of Disrespectful Behavior in Marriage that Breaks a Home Faster

#9. Makes Sarcastic Comments When Talking to Others.

This behavior can be a way to express negative emotions without being direct and can be a sign of poor communication skills. However, it can also be a sign you secretly hate someone. 

#10. Don’t Forgive Easily

Forgiveness is a virtue. However, holding on to a hurt from the past can serve as an avenue for hate even if you don’t express it directly.

Not only does this indicate unresolved anger or resentment problems, but it can also be a barrier to moving forward in relationships.

#11. Hates Apologizing

Apologies don’t come easy. However, when you find it challenging to do, especially after people must have encouraged you to, that could be a sign that you don’t care about the person you wronged. That could be one of the signs you’re a secret hater to that person.

#12. Struggle to See the Good in People

This sign suggests a negative outlook and may make it difficult to form positive relationships. Regardless of what they do, that’s a hater sign if you don’t like them.

#13. Lacks Trust

Another secret hater sign or how to know if someone hates you is when there is no trust. Trusting others never comes easy.

This can be a sign of past trauma or negative experiences and may require professional support to overcome. This makes you unintentionally hate people even though you don’t want to.

#14. Feels Superior to Others and Looks Down on People

Feeling superior to others and looking down on people you consider beneath you can be one of the signs that you’re a secret hater. This also shows arrogance and suggests a lack of empathy for others.

#15. Feels Insecure and Threatened by Successful People

Feeling insecure and threatened by more successful people can indicate low self-esteem and require professional support. Again this hating sign may be unintentional.

#16. Holds Grudges and Can’t Let Go of Past Conflicts.

Holding grudges and struggling to let go of past conflicts can be a sign of a lack of forgiveness and may be a barrier to forming healthy relationships.

This can also stem from hurt from the past and be an unintentional sign of you being a secret hater.

#17. Don’t Form Meaningful Relationships with Others

Another way how to tell if someone hates you is when there is no meaningful relationship. This suggests a need for personal growth and may require professional support to develop more positive social skills. This may be one of the Reasons Why Not To Have No Friends.

ALSO READ: Intellectual Relationships | Signs you are not Intellectually Compatible

How Do You Know if Your Friends Are Haters?

These are typically the phony pals that will be jealous of you privately. So let’s begin:

  • They offer you poor guidance. Think things over, and if someone keeps offering you terrible advice, cut them off.
  • You experience an adverse event, and it appears they secretly enjoy it. Even a smile.
  • Manipulation. Be on the lookout for this, as some of them are experts.
  • They attempt to diminish you. Not once, but far too frequently.
  • They tell lies.
  • There are times when you can feel their nasty energy attacking you.
  • Asking you where you purchased this and that so they can obtain one identical to it. It appears as though they are trying to imitate you.

What are the Signs People Hates You

Determining if someone hates you can be challenging, as people often hide their true feelings or express them subtly. However, here are some signs that may indicate someone dislikes you:

  1. They avoid you: If someone goes out of their way to avoid interacting with you, it could be a sign that they dislike you.
  2. They are short with you: If someone is curt or dismissive in their interactions, it could be a sign that they dislike you.
  3. They criticize you: If someone is constantly criticizing or belittling you, it could be a sign that they dislike you.
  4. They don’t include you: If someone consistently excludes you from group activities or events, it could be a sign that they dislike you.
  5. They don’t make eye contact: If someone avoids making eye contact with you, it could be a sign that they dislike you.

However, it’s important to remember that these signs alone may not necessarily mean someone hates you. It’s always best to communicate directly with the person in question and address any concerns or misunderstandings that may be causing tension between you.

FAQs About How to Tell if Someone Hates You

What should I do if I Recognize I am a Secret Hater?

If you recognize you secretly hate someone, addressing them is essential. This may involve seeking the help of a therapist or counselor, engaging in self-reflection to identify negative thought patterns and behaviors, or making an effort to communicate openly and honestly with those around you.

Can Being a Secret Hater Affect My Mental Health?

Being a secret hater can have adverse effects on your mental health. Harboring negative emotions such as resentment, jealousy, or anger can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, which impacts your mental health and life in general. 

Additionally, this baggage can make it difficult to form positive relationships with others and lead to isolation and loneliness.

Can a Person be a Secret Hater without Realizing it?

Yes, most secret haters don’t even realize they’re one unless someone points it out to them. Sometimes, negative emotions and behaviors can become so ingrained that they are challenging to recognize as bad. 

Engaging in self-reflection and seeking feedback from trusted friends or family members is essential to identify areas where you may be exhibiting negative behaviors.

Can a Secret Hater Change their Behavior?

Yes, a secret hater can change their behavior with effort and commitment. This will require unlearning and practicing empathy, forgiveness, and gratitude to cultivate a positive outlook.

What are the practical steps to come out from secret hating?

If you recognize that you are a secret hater and want to make changes in your behavior, here are some steps you can take:

  • Acknowledge and accept your negative feelings
  • Identify the root cause
  • Challenge your negative thoughts
  • Practice empathy and gratitude
  • Communicate openly and honestly
  • Seek professional help if needed


If you recognize any of these signs, we have stated above in yourself addressing them and seeking help if necessary is essential.

Negative emotions can affect your mental health, well-being, and relationships with others. Seeking support from a therapist or a trusted friend can help you work through these emotions and develop more positive coping strategies.


RT Admin
RT Admin
Articles: 19

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *