Someone once asked in a relationship group I belong to “Why do men pull away after sex, while the women run after them?
In a group I belong to, someone asked a question, “Why do men pull away after sex, while the women run after them?”
Then I thought to myself, Should that even be the main question?
What about in a situation where there is no sex? Why do guys still pull away after getting close or to a lady?
You meet a guy today; he is all over you and is ready to give you heaven and earth, and after some months of dating, he starts staying away from you without words.
You wonder, what really went wrong? Is it that you’re not that attractive again, or has he found someone better?
The worst of it all is that he utters no word about it, leaving you to wonder if your relationship is doomed, or if there’s something you can do about it.
In such a scenario, you need to understand why men pull away after getting close to enable you to know how to respond well.
That is why I have put down in this article 10 undoubted reasons why men pull away from relationships based on my experience and some expert advice.
Aside from that, you will also learn what to do to get your relationship back on track.
So, if you’re in that relationship and you think that your guy is pushing you away without reasons, this article will help you.
The table of contents below gives an overview of all you will get from reading this article.
- When someone Pulls Away, what does it mean?
- 10 Unequivocal Reasons Why Men Pull Away
- #1. He is Afraid of Falling In love
- #2. He Doesn’t want commitment
- #3. Afraid of Getting Hurt
- #4. Has Low Self-Esteem
- #5. Troubled Life
- #6. He takes Lust as Love
- #7. He’s exploring other options.
- #8. He is not Emotionally attached to you
- #9. There is no Love
- #10. Getting you was very Easily
- What to Do When your Guy Pulls Away?
- #1. Work on yourself
- #2. Make your Presence Felt
- #3. Avoid Overreaction
- #4. Confront Him
- #5. Reassure him
- #6. Swallow it
- Bottom Line
When someone Pulls Away, what does it mean?
Pulling away means someone distancing himself or herself from someone else, maybe a family, a relationship, or a colleague. To pull away from a relationship comes in different forms.
Your partner can start pulling away from you by making you see him or her as a strange or spending a short time with you.
In some relationships, your partner ghosts you. That means, he or she completely cut communication with you at the early stage of the relationship without reason.
10 Unequivocal Reasons Why Men Pull Away
For guys, when they start pulling away from a relationship, they either stop calling you first, taking your calls quickly, or talking to you unless you start the conversation first.
This happens because of so many reasons which guys most times find it difficult to communicate with their partners openly.
You might have been with the guy for 3 or 6 months before you notice the change, and you’re like why is he pulling away after 3 months or why is he pulling away after 6 months.
Whatever the reason is, you’re probably left wondering what’s going on. What could be the reason?
To be frank, guys pull away for a number of reasons which you may not even be able to find out unless you’re told.
Here are 10 Unequivocal reasons why your guy may be pulling away from you.
#1. He is Afraid of Falling In love
One of the major things behind why men pull away is because most of them fear falling in love. They believe that as a lady, you must have so many admirers and attractions from other men like them which you might be deeply in love with. So, to avoid hurting their feelings, they tend to pull away, especially when they are falling in love with you.
Sometimes, men find it difficult to their emotions into a relationship even though they find relationship appealing.
#2. He Doesn’t want commitment
Not wanting to commit themselves to any woman is another reason why men pull away from women. Most times men see it as a difficult task committing to only one woman, especially the young ones.
They just want to flirt with you and enjoy the early throes of romantic entanglement. He simply doesn’t want to commit himself with no intention of having a serious long-term relationship- so he just pulls away just to prevent that from happening.
#3. Afraid of Getting Hurt
Some men have been hurt in relationships. I was talking with a friend over the phone, he said “Queen, to be frank with you, I can’t fell for any girl again because I have been hurt by women all in the name of Love.“
Then I replied, that the person you fall for wasn’t ready to catch you is not a reason to get someone who is ready.
I remained of one of Albert Einstein’s quote- “You can’t blame gravity for falling in love”. So, he must give love a chance again.
I can’t forget his last words that day- ‘I will give it a try again but for now I will apply the date-with-no-commitment rule for the meantime.
In this scenario, my friend sees getting into any serious relationship as a way of endangering his feelings and emotions.
However, their are lots of men out there that are like my friend. They have been hurt several times and tries to pull way from any other woman, especially when they start falling in love to avoid getting hurt again.
#4. Has Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem is another reason why men do pull away in relationships. Some men, especially the uneducated and unsuccessful ones have low self-worth, and as such believe that no lady has a reason to love them.
Some are deeply in love with a lady but think that they don’t deserve her even if the lady loves them.
In fact, the more serious things get between them, the more they begin to themselves as worthy partners and lovers.
#5. Troubled Life
A guy can be seriously in love with you but with the strains and other stresses in his life, he pulls away from you.
I was in a meeting with some ladies two years ago. Opportunities were given for them to share their relationship.
Lucy, an attendee shared a story of how her relationship ended after his boyfriend lost his entire family in an accident, and lost his job three days after then.
Although she was ready to stick to him, the emotional trauma and stress made him feels he is a bother to him. And as a way of trying to be better with himself, he gradually pulled himself away from her.
That remains me. I can’t forget how my first relationship ended after 4 years. My boyfriend push and pulled away from me because he was facing a health issue which he kept a secret from me.
It was very bad for me then, but I had to move on.
#6. He takes Lust as Love
Another reason why men pull away after sex is when they mistake lust for love. Most guys after having sex with a lady, push her away because the intense physical connection they feel has faded.
#7. He’s exploring other options.
If you’ve not yet agreed to become an exclusive couple, he might feel like dating other people is still okay.
And, inevitably, if he’s spending time with other people, he’s spending less time with you.
It’s not only the time commitment where you might see a difference but also on the emotional side too.
If he’s exploring his feelings for others, he might pull back a bit from you in an emotional sense.
#8. He is not Emotionally attached to you
A guy can be dating you despite that, he is not emotionally attached to you. Most women don’t know what men think, what they expect in life, and what they really want from a relationship.
And the explanation for this is clear. Both male and female brains are physically distinct.
This is why women are more in tune with their feelings. And why people can fail to process and appreciate their emotions.
Have you ever been let down by an emotionally unavailable man? Blame, rather than him, his genetics.
To activate the emotional portion of a man’s brain, you have to connect with him in a manner that he can understand.
#9. There is no Love
Another reason why a guy might push or pull away from you is when there’s no love. Although it might be hard for you to take it, the truth is a guy can give you commitment signals and yet won’t be committed to you if he is not into you.
Aside from love not been there, he might not find you physically attractive or fit to align with his way of life.
#10. Getting you was very Easily
Usually, men love to see their wife as a reward they ought to compete for. They see the woman they want to be with as an achievement and as someone who has taken a job to make a living.
It may sound a little dumb, but it’s true. Men love to know that a woman has a mind of her own, is calm, and is not easy to get.
So, men are going to pull apart as women get too clingy. As a lady hold a guy on his toes a little to make him wonder where you sometimes stand.
The truth is, asking him what he’s doing every minute of every day and planning stuff to do without giving him a chance to say yes or no can be indicators that you’re getting clingy and falling too quickly for him.
It should be, as we all know, a shared chase between a man or a woman. If the balance is off, it’s going to be too convenient for him.
What to Do When your Guy Pulls Away?
Here are six steps to take when you notice him pulling away:
#1. Work on yourself
When you notice that your guy is pulling away from you, instead of running after him or trying to get his attention immediately, focus on yourself.
Work on your career if you are building one and strive to accomplish your set professional goals and objectives.
Aside from that, spend time having fun with your friends and explore new things.
Just go on and live your life to the fullest and if you are on social media, don’t be scared to post your pictures and update your status and positive things.
#2. Make your Presence Felt
You don’t have to be moody or be offline just because your men left you.
Instead of obsessing on why he doesn’t seem as interested as he did, make sure he sees your pictures and good things happening around you.
#3. Avoid Overreaction
This is the mistake most ladies make in relationships. Even if you notice that he is pulled away from the relationship, don’t overreact.
Find out first f the guy is really pulling away. You can try to recall your last conversation or meet with him.
Was it lively? Did he respond to you as usual? Was he in a rush to end the conversation? Did you do anything unusual that he might not be comfortable with?
Getting answers to all these questions will help you not to overreact.
#4. Confront Him
Although most ladies hate doing this, that is one of the best steps to take when your guy is pulling away from you. You have to approach him politely to find out what is actually going on.
Is there anything you have done wrong, or he thinks is not right between you both? You can start by pretending that everything is fine.
Although some guys dodge confrontation or hard conversation because they just don’t want to be the one hurting their girl, some also man up to tell you what’s going up.
#5. Reassure him
If the truth is he’s scared of commitment or feel things are going too fast, reassure him. It’s okay to take a step back from the relationship.
Let him know that you like him and understand why he feels the way he does. If he’s scared of commitment, talk to him about it. You never know where it can lead!
#6. Swallow it
This can be difficult, especially if it’s someone you truly love. But that’s the best way to handle the situation. Accepting that for him to pull away from the relationship means that he is no longer interested will help you move on faster.
That he is pulling away from you is not criteria for you to throw abuses at him.
You may feel overcome by the need to say to him everything that’s on your mind that you find it hard to regulate how words fall out, but you don’t want to end up in this kind of situation.
Having this kind of irreparable error will give him a real excuse to never talk to you again.
Given your anger, it’s important to keep you calm and not blow it up. And as you talk, remain focused on having a positive conversation.
Making it through this time would take a lot of flexibility from you, but you’re going to be all right. Filling your calendar and keeping yourself busy will help you keep things in perspective.