I once fall in love for a guy that made me feel special and loved. The constant calls and attention I got from him then gave me the feeling that I have arrived at the highest peak of what I needed in a man.
I concluded that; I have gotten it all once it involves relationship because I was overwhelmed by all the sweet things I hear him whisper into my ears whenever we are on call. For me, that was all that matter, nothing else!
After a few months, depression set in because the calls weren’t coming the way it used to. I felt deranged, abandoned, and cheated. He calls on rare occasions and each time he calls, he says ‘ baby I’m fine’, ‘baby you know am not the calling type’ or ‘baby, the weather condition has changed over here’.
With these words, I got sucked and watch my emotions play on me as most ladies do too. At this time, I was more concern making things go back the way it was without throwing my high value to the mud.
I took steps which though seems hard, but was able to help me put my emotions on track. To learn about those steps, carefully read this article. You can scroll the table of contents below to get an overview of the steps and more.
First, I had to ask myself why did he stop calling?
Why did He Stop Calling?
That he stopped calling doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants a break up, although it is one of signs. But answering the following couple of questions helped a lot in figuring out what he really wants.
- Is He Pulling Away
- Is he actually not the calling type?
- Have we been having a parasitic or symbolistic relationship?
- Is he really busy?
#1. Is he actually not the calling type?
Well, some guys really hates talking on the phone. Some men don’t feel as comfortable with simply auditory forms of communication.
#2. Is he Pulling Away
One of the best strategies most men uses when they want to pull away from a relationship is to cut communication. Maybe, when they have other women and they think they are done with you for good, they stop calling.
#3. Is he really busy?
Yes, no matter how busy a guy might be, keeping in touch with someone he claims to love should not be compromised for anything.
#4. Is it a parasitic or symbolistic relationship?
Most times guys don’t call is because though they love you which he sees as an obligation, constant calling won’t put anything in his pocket.
Truth be told, emotional closeness doesn’t necessarily pay the bills or get things done, rather value does.
Getting the answers to these four questions helped me take actions that didn’t jeopardize my High Value as a lady.
What To do when he Doesn’t call Back
Here are the steps I took:
#1. I gave him some Space
Giving your guy space at this time doesn’t mean you are not interested anymore, it’s just you keeping your emotions in check. It will also help you not to act or look desperate.
It’s okay to call him later, but in the meantime, allow him the space for now so at least you don’t have to go into desperation and feel controlling.
I felt uncomfortable and scared doing this, but I did it and it worked.
#2. Checked if I am the only one in his Basket
Checking if you are the only one is one of the things you should do when he doesn’t call you back. Actually, being with him is a legitimate excuse for him to take time away from me.
If he sneaks for a few days and during that time does not speak with you, it is most likely that you’re not the only one.
#3. Refused Fighting Myself
I had to keep the right assumption about him and men generally. I avoid thinking that I always wear the back of my dress, that I’m not attractive, or that I have no boyfriend.
Most importantly, I built a positive and pleasant attitude towards his reasons for not calling me even when he says he would.
So, if some of your perceptions or convictions about why he stopped calling you, this is what to do: instead of thinking such thoughts, you must stop have positive thoughts. You can better understand your emotions and see things from a greater viewpoint by paying careful attention to the experience and feelings.
#4. Maybe he is not the phone type
Well, some guys are not big fans of the phone. They miss out on messages and see taking calls as a daunting task. Call them sociopathic and inappropriate, but they are there and you should expect sluggish contact if your crush is one of them. Most guys prefer a facial company to phone calls.
They might not want to indulge in such an act not because is not cool or perhaps its pretty expensive as people may think but because they like real in the likes of seeing you, feeling your body, and talking to you physically.
#5. I Called Him
After giving him some space, I had to call him. In the Rule of Romance, though, this is not a good analogy, but calling is a kind of way to encourage him to take the initiative.
Although most lady’s work with pride, in the process of boosting their ego they might find it degrading and complicated calling their men, always expecting the guy to be the only calling while waiting to feed their minds and emotion with a false assumption.
#6. Didn’t Allow the situation take the better side of me.
Bad things you can do is let him know that through his inability to call or text you, you feel let down.
Play it casual, and act like you’re meeting him for the first time the next time you speak. It’s going to leave him puzzled, unable to make sense of what you’ve got on your sleeve.
You still have something to be proud of, having managed to leave him wondering whether he shouldn’t have done the right thing and answered to your messages.
Although some smart guy could predict a silence of a lady or they must be very sure of their thought, as a lady refuses to put up a new attitude towards him.
#7. Moved on
I had to move on because I waited for months without him coming back. Now, if a few weeks have passed, and he hasn’t called, give him a month or two before you plan to move on.
And when you are fully convinced he’s not going to call, set a new target to find somebody else. This is the best time to react to the online profiles of a few guys or go out to a place where you could meet someone new for a night out with your girlfriends.
See it like this: If you were starving and found a closed restaurant, you’d go look for another one, wouldn’t you? You’re not going to keep dwelling on the fact that the first restaurant was closed.
Similarly, note that there are many men out there and that remaining optimistic and hopeful is your best chance of finding a good one, If he really wants you two weeks is definitely enough for him to remember you and profound a way of making it up to it without setback.
8. Avoiding to Panic
Another thing to do when he doesn’t call after, especially after sex is not to panic. Whether you have had sex with him or not, once he stopped calling, as usual, don’t panic.
Panicking or troubling yourself in this kind of circumstance will yield no solution to it rather move on with other things, things of great prospect or involve in a routine which might make you not to think about the situation for the time beam.
It’s a no-brainer that if you’ve met someone you like, you’re going to want to see that person again.
Actually, you could find yourself spending a decent amount of time thinking deeply about him or contemplating wonderful scenarios that the two of you might do together. For these reasons, when he does not call, it can really hurt.
Don’t panic or let your fear overtake you when you find yourself in this situation. Holding things in perspective is the main way to stop panic and anxiety.
#9. I concluded that He’s Too Busy
Like I said earlier, no matter how busy a guy is, it is never an excuse not to make your woman out, but I had to believe that he may be involved in some intensive work in some instances, thereby giving him limited time for himself not to speak to me.
One thing you must note, do not expect your guy to reply when he’s at work, even if he may be interested in you. Or he just doesn’t want to keep talking back and forth, opting to just do it when it’s convenient for him instead.
#10. I tried not to be Conclusive
In situations like this, men like it when you jump to conclusions because it gives them a level of control over your feelings. They believe they are all that matters to you and as such, you can’t do without them.
And they get strength, concentrate on you and your emotional needs, and never let your emotion control you rather manipulate your emotions.
So, I didn’t jump to a conclusion.
Note, a comment on how you feel about yourself, and not so much about the man, is how you respond to a guy not calling. If you feel bad because a guy didn’t call, it means you got trapped leaping to some ridiculous conclusions, which if they don’t reciprocate, may be toxic for you.
Concentrate on yourself by saying positive qualities about your inability to manipulate things around. Say out loud, “I’m a decent girl, and I know that other guys would see that.” Reiterate it during the day several times.