Ghosting in a relationship has in recent times be seen as a common and easiest way of breaking up with someone, especially among guys. Hei! am not trying to be bias or judgmental here. There are men who ghost just for fun, Now do question still remains why do men ghost women.
Years back I met this guy, he calls me before 6am just to tell me good morning and how am the best thing that has ever happen to him, lavish me with presents and gift, all of a sudden, he stops calling, does take or return my calls, finds it difficult to reply my text, and was easily irritated with my presence. Next thing he disappears into thin air! I ask myself what really happen, why did he ghost me?
This question kept me thinking for years because I had fallen deeply for this guy and I need to know why did I get ghosted. Later I realize why men ghost women, and sharing it with you is my utmost priority. So if you have being ghosted by a guy or you want to know why ghosting in a relationship? This article is for you.
There is no smoke without fire…..
Don’t be shocked by this….!
Do you know that according to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, more than 25% of people have reported being ghosted at least once by a romantic partner? Some even experience ghosting after a long relationship.
Most often, ghosting comes in the form of not responding to messages but it can extend to unprompted blocking on social media, failing to follow up on plans or even disappearing without a trace. First of all, I want to say that I don’t condone ghosting. It’s hurtful, confusing, and inconsiderate, most especially ghosting after a long relationship. But there is a silver lining…
Although, Even though ghosting hurts more in the short term and can prevent you from getting closure, it can actually be easier to get over than a traditional breakup.
This isn’t in defence of guys who ghost. In fact, it’s the exact opposite.
Basically, ghosting is for the immature, and believe men who ghost are rude and not worthy of your time. If you can keep this in mind, it will make moving on much easier. Plus, closure is overrated.
Even if a guy seems to be upfront about ending things, there’s no guarantee that he’s telling the truth. Men will often lie to spare your feelings.
why did he ghost me?
Now based on the truth I found out, let me tell you little about why ghosting in a relationship happens. There are 5 reasons why men ghost women in the modern dating world.
#1. There’s No Love Chemistry
Actually, there is no relationship with feeing. Sometimes, men who ghost do that when you notice that they don’t feel a lady again. Hence he’s realized that there’s no spark between the two of you. Sometimes we get ahead of ourselves and miss important indicators of incompatibility.
#2. He wants to leave it open-ended
Many guys think that if they simply don’t break up with you, then they can pick up right where things left off, no matter how much time has passed. And the scary thing is, they’re often right. Think about it. You go on three dates with someone, you sleep together once… He calls you and says “I don’t want to see you anymore. I don’t think we have enough in common.”
You’re upset but you appreciate his honesty and this allows you to move on.
But what if he never called you? At first you’re hurt and confused but since you didn’t have that potentially difficult conversation, you eventually simply stop thinking about him.
You never really deal with the breakup and your last memory of him was having a pretty decent date and waiting for his call… The truth is, it’s easier to come back from ghosting someone than it is to come back after having an actual “breakup”.
So watch out! He’ll come back to haunt you in a few months when he’s lonely or wants to hook up.
#3. His definition of relationships
You will agree with me that relationship is viewed in different ways by different persons. Most men even women don’t believe in a lasting relationship. Some define a relationship as just having sex and trying to satisfy your sexual urge. This is affected by how they grow up, how their parents interacted and how they’ve been treated in relationships in the past.
A friend once told me that a relationship for him is ‘A hit and Run Activities’ which means that all he does is get a girl, make fall for him, sleep with her and bounce.
Also, those who date more often and more casually may think that not responding to a couple texts isn’t the end of the world. On the other hand, those who are inexperienced or more strictly monogamous see it in a much more negative light. It’s a matter of perception.
4. He doesn’t want to have the conversation
Many men lack the emotional intelligence and guts to be up front about ending a relationship.
In this case, he’s hoping that you won’t confront him and he can simply forget about the whole thing without ever having to actually take any responsibility for his actions.
In the end, whatever reason he had for ghosting you, it comes down to one simple fact: This guy just isn’t that into you.
I’m sorry. I know it’s hard to hear but it’s the truth.
So if you’re sitting next to the phone all day, thinking about this guy, remember that he has already moved on and you should too.
#5. His scared of confrontation.
Most men would rather stick needles in their eyes than confront a woman, mostly for fear that she may cry — and he will in turn feel like a bad person.
Men love to use whatever excuse they can think of rather than admit they have a fear of confrontation. That’s why ghosting has become such a big thing — and today’s use of technology as a primary means of communication in dating has ghosting just that much easier.
Instead, an empowering action to take to avoid being ghosted is this: Take responsibility or acknowledge whatever you feel like he wants to confront you on yourself, rather than waiting for him to do it. Because let’s be honest, you’ll be waiting a very long time.
How to avoid Being Ghosted
It is possible for you to avoid being ghosted by men. It’s very simply dear. Here are the ways to stop men from ghosting you and keep them coming back for more.
#1. Your spec of what you want should be high
Men will always ghost you when they find out that you don’t really have a choice when it comes to who you want to be with.
Don’t think that trying to play cool by accepting any decision from a guy will really make him like you more. In fact, many men will lose respect for you if you don’t stand up for yourself and assert your desire to be treated properly. This is because men subconsciously want a woman who holds them to a high standard.
He wants to be that knight in shining armor but first, you need to be his princess.
So how can you establish your high standards. Don’t let him ignore you or be his booty call. Don’t let him cancel plans at the last minute or flake out on you.
#2. Give him the impression that you are the Best
No one in a position of power in the relationship ever got ghosted. Also, men ghost women who the believe has nothing to offer apart from sex. He can’t ghost you dont just disturb him with calls or text all the time.
Let him be the one to pursue you.
That way you build a solid foundation rather than jumping straight into a relationship. This will lead to a stronger, more intimate relationship in the long run.
#3. Only date men who can communicate honestly and directly
Men who are truly secure in themselves won’t ghost you. But how can you know for sure?
Finding out if he fits the bill takes openness and honesty on your part. You can’t compromise on things that are important to you.
You’ll know he lacks these qualities when you bring up something real and revealing and he makes a joke or changes the subject.
Let silences hang rather than trying to fill them and you’ll see what he’s really all about.
Change your perception of Ghosting
Ghosting is the act of your date / the man you’re seeing disappearing on you without any explanation.
Sometimes, that a guy doesnt take your calls might not necessarily mean that he has ghosted you. How far into a relationship do you have to be before it’s considered ghosting?
Some even think they’ve been ghosted when a guy simply doesn’t respond to their tinder message… This is where a change of mindset comes into play.
On the flip side, if you’ve been together for months and he skips town, that’s not ghosting either….It’s something much worse. I don’t want you to think that this is normal. This person is especially inconsiderate, and bordering on abusive.