Breakups can be very terrible because it comes with lots of complications and heartbreak. Whether it is a mutual break up or not the parties most times find it difficult to know how to be emotionally strong after a break up.
Not matter how things ended, there is this feeling of discomfort that sets in once you split which brings disability in some areas of life.
That is why learning the best things to do after a break is necessary or better still expedient before breaking up in the first place.
Learning these things which I call ‘STEPS AFTER A BREAK UP’ can help get through easily no matter how hard it is.
Also, they will help you know how to make a relationship work after a break up if you wish.
The table of contents below will guide you.
How to Act after a Breakup |Post Break UP
Here are the Steps
#1. Set Boundaries
Establishing or setting boundaries with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend is the first thing that is needed after a breakup, especially a mutual break up.
Cut communication and avoid crossing path with your ex even if you leave in same town.
You can friend zone each other, that’s cool. But it’s important you give each other space for some time, to avoid emotional trauma.
No texting, no calling or hanging out can go a long way in helping you move on with your life and even build another relationship.
It’s also a sure way on how to overcome breakup with girlfriend or boyfriend.
Listen, I’m not discouraging from building friendship, but the truth is that doing that may bring confusion and more heartbreaks.
#2. Attend to yourself
Another best thing to do for yourself after splitting is to learn how to take care of yourself. Do things that will cheer you up after breaking up with someone.
This is how to go about it……
Prioritize self-care. This is in the area of eating what nourishes your body, doing what gives you joy and happiness, listening to your music or working out.
Also, another after break up advice is engaging yourself in more positive things that can add value to your life and make you a better person.
You can take tutorials on how to do something you don’t know, bake or knit if you enjoy doing so.
Then finally on how to attend to yourself after break up; Express your feelings but don’t allow them to eat you up.
Normally, you can be confused, angry, sad, or even lonely after splitting with someone you love. However, it’s important you handle it rightly to avoid wallowing in them.
You can do that by talking to a love one about it or meeting a therapist.
#3. Don’t talk about it on Social Media
Healthline.com in one of their relationship posts cited a saying by Parker about social media.
He said “Social media creates an environment for stalking and unhealthy fixation, along with opportunities for passive-aggressive bullying,”
This is true. Not posting your ex photo or a post about the break up is one of the things to do after a breakup that can help you.
#4. Don’t change your Relationship Status
If your Facebook relationship status is “In a relationship” don’t be in a hurry to change it.
Changing it may make your ex think that you’re really hurt. Yes, you might be hurt, but show it won’t help in any way.
Better still, instead of changing it, you can hide it.
#5. Avoid going to your Ex’s page of viewing his Status
This is one of the post break up rules you apply if you don’t want to break down emotionally.
Although you may feel tempted to do so, especially if you’ve seen them around town with someone new.
Maybe you want to know if they feel as awful as you do, or maybe you’re looking for that vague status update you just know they wanted you to see.
But ask yourself, “What will looking at their page accomplish?” Probably nothing healthy, so it’s best to resist the urge.
#6. Delete His or her Number
Another step on how to be strong after a break up is to avoid communication as I mentioned earlier. This is why it’s important you delete him or her number.
Although you guys can be friends or you can win your ex back, in the meantime, delete your ex contact from your phone.
Though it’s difficult sometimes to win your ex back, especially if the break up was not a mutual one, you can easily win him/her back with these tips.
#7. Hang out with friends
After breaking up with someone you truly love, one of the best ways to heal the pains is by hanging out with friends. You can go to parties, clubs or the beach to have fun.
With that, you would forget that anything happened. According to a relationship expert, Lester, in the early days after a break-up, you’re likely not to feel great, so try to distract yourself as much as possible.
This can be achieved by hanging out with friends so you don’t have time to wallow.
#8. Change your House Setting
This is one of the steps after a break up to take, especially if you’ve been living together.
Because of the sweet memories, you had together, it will be nice for you to revamp your space. Change some things and if you have the money, move to a new house.
If not, then you can move the furniture around, get new bedding, mugs, blankets, throw pillows, cushions, and paint your table and chairs.
Then, If your partner left things behind when moving, pack them and send him/her a polite message to come pick them. And if they refused, give the stuffs away.
#9. Cry Over it
Break up whether a mutual or bad break comes with pains and a lot of anxieties. Crying over it immediately is one of the ways on how to be strong after a break up.
The truth is that if you don’t grieve over it now, the pain will still be there. And every day, it will always be evergreen in your memory. But when you grieve and cry over it, you can easily let go.
Tess Brigham, a therapist and life coach based in California, agrees. “It’s okay to feel sad one day, mad the next, in denial the day after, and back to feeling sad again.”
#10. Get Help
Consider reaching out to a therapist. A Therapist can help you identify unhealthy coping methods and replace them with more positive ones.
They can also help you address, challenge persistent negative emotions, and work on a plan for the future.
Aside from that, they can help work on your emotions, especially if you are feeling depressed, sober, or sad.
#11. Don’t rush into another Relationship
This is one of the things you shouldn’t do after a break up. Take some time out before beginning another relationship.
During the time of waiting, think about what made your previous relationship not to work, then decide on what you want in your next relationship.
Doing this will help you not to make the same mistake you made before,
Remember, being in a relationship won’t necessarily make you feel happier. Getting more confident and comfortable about being single is also a healthy step forward.
What to do after a break up especially if you notice that your ex has moved on, just move on too.
I know it can be really upsetting if you find out that your ex has a new relationship, don’t think about him/her.
Don’t contact or post about your ex and lash out at them because this won’t make you feel any better.
If you’re struggling with anger or jealousy when getting over a difficult break-up, it’s important to remember to stay safe.