A child’s relationship with the parents is the most important aspect of the child’s life because it affects the child’s way of life form infant to adolescent age even adulthood. However, the parent and children relationships consist of a combination of behaviors, feelings, and expectations that are unique to a particular parent and a particular child.
The relationship involves the full extent of a child’s development. and it can be strengthened.
Moreso, when there is unhealthy parents and children relationships, it tends to affect the child negatively; the child can become too aggressive, self-centered, unfriendly, unsatisfiable etc.
On the other hand, a healthy and positive parent and children relationship bonds foster autonomy, curiosity, self-esteem, and better decision-making skills. Now before we proceed, scroll below to see an overview of what to expect;
How to Strengthen parent-child relationships
Interestingly, there are so many ways you can strengthen the relationship between parents and children. These ways or tips can help you build stronger parent-child relationships.
Note, these tips are not only beneficially to you as a parent, other of your family members, caring neighbors and relatives can also apply in how they relate with your children and theirs as well.
So, you can improve your relationship with your child by getting involved in their lives and building stronger communication. Also, learn how to adapt your parent-child relationship with time.
Spend more time
One of the ways you can strengthen parent’s relationships with children is by devoting more time to your children. The longer you spend time with them the more bonded, closer and stronger your relationship with them.
Though loving your kids is your major obligation, you can demonstrate this love the more by giving them most of your time.
This will result to them loving and feeling more comfortable around you. they can confide in you even when they get to the adolescent stage of their life. Young people need privacy while young children need parental involvement and interaction.
Similarly, when you have more than one child, you can still connect with each of them, know their individual difference, likes and dislikes, know how to focus on each child’s talent and strength if you prioritize one-on-one time on each individual child.
Get involved in their Personal Life
When considering how you can build parent’s and children’s relation, getting involved in their personal life can be of great help.
Having knowledge of your child’s Personal live, like their study life which has to do with understanding their academics, know the friends they keep and their daily routine. Stay in regular touch with your child’s teachers or volunteer at school if you have leisure time.
Your relationship with them shouldn’t just be providing them with food, shelter and clothing only. By doing just that you get bond with them. parents who have good relationships with their children are involved in their lives.
You can’t expect to have a strong bond with your children if you simply say “good morning” and “good night” each day.
It’s understandable that you’re busy juggling work and other responsibilities, but you should also make an effort to get to know your kids and learn about what’s happening in their lives.
Sit down with them as they do homework. Help them practice their lines for the school play. Invite your kids’ friends over so you know what kind of influences they are around.
Make them Believe in You
Trust and be trustworthy is a virtue that you must possess as a parent if you really want to bond with your children. Trust is the bedrock of every relationship.
However, if your child can’t relay or trust you with their life or feel secure when you are around then there is a big problem here.
Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Your child should be able to rely on you and feel secure. Earn their trust by keeping up your promises, by giving them privacy and keeping their confidence. However, do not trust your child blindly, but have your checks in place.
As a parent, it’s important that you build a foundation of trust. Trust translates to many roles in parenting. Of course, your child needs to know that they can rely on you to be there. When you say you’ll do something, do it. Keep your word. This helps your child form basic secure attachments that will influence future relationships.
However, trust also means respecting your child’s need for privacy and keeping their confidence when they do share with you.
Trust doesn’t necessarily mean you believe whatever your child says, but it does mean you’ll try and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Make them your Priority
This is very important dear, to build a strong parent-child relationship, you have to make that kid your priority. Let the child know that he or she is the first in your list. The child’s needs and wellbeing should be the No. thing that you should think about.
This makes them feel that you are always there to care for them. Your children are your priorities. So show them consistency: spend as much time as you can with your child, instead of getting ‘fit’ on your schedule.
Give them Listening Ear
This is another point that you must put to work if you really want to improve parent-child relationship. Active Listening to your child all the time makes them feel welcome and important.
It to an extent shows that you really care about them. In a situation where you passively listen to them by giving them answers like ‘Okay’ or that’s cool when they expect a detail explanation of that particular thing, they feel uncomfortable.
It is very important to listen to your kids no matter how busy you may be at that particular time, let them know that you care by giving them rapid attention whenever they need one.
Although you might be busy with so many activities if you really want to strengthen your relationship with them, try to give them listening ear, understand their message and always try to offer solutions to any of their complaint. It will always make them come back.
Furthermore, you can achieve that by using eye contact, body language, and facial expression Listening passively while doing your work and responding with an occasional ‘hmm’ or ‘OK’ in between shows that you are not interested.
When your child speaks to you, stop whatever it is that you are doing and listen to them. Give them your full attention, ask questions or reiterate what they said. Remember to maintain eye contact while talking to them.
Let them get involved in the family decisions
This applies to when you have an adolescent or a teenager. A teenage feels very excited and happy when his or her opinion is been considered. Many parents just bark out decisions instead of letting their kids play a role.
However, as your children become teenagers and young adults, it can give them a sense of autonomy to offer forth their opinions.
For instance, Allow older children to weigh in on more decisions like choosing clothes, meals, activities, or vacation plans. You might ask their opinion about handling family matters to show you respect their point-of-view.
For example, you might say, “Jackson, what’s your suggestion for this week’s family movie night?” or “Where would you like to go for summer break?”
Keep Effective Communication with them
You can strengthen your parent-child relationship you have to develop effective communication skills with your child. Try and make your communication to be friendly, fair and firm.
Sometimes, you can try to have a side-side conversation with them instead of face-face communication because some adolescents feel pressured and tensed when you are talking to them face-face.
Be clear about your expectations, what they can expect from you and any ground rules and consequences for not following them. That said, don’t let the child push your buttons. As a parent, you need to handle it maturely and calmly. Try to ask them about their personal life.
Help them express their Emotions
Helping your child express their emotions can really help in to build a positive parent-child relationship.
Try as much as possible to be empathetic and compassionate and let them vent out their emotions. Although it may be a bit difficult when it’s your first-time parenting a child, when you do it consistently, it will help.
Seeing things from your child’s perspective will help you understand the reasons for their cranky behavior.
Relate with them based on their level
You can never understand a child very well unless you bring yourself down to the child’s level. You can build a healthy relationship with your child when you try connecting with them from their level.
If it’s a 10-year child, you can discuss and play with him or her based on what child at that age can do. If you have a toddler, get on the floor and build a city out of blocks. If you have older adolescents or teens, join in on a round of video games.
By doing this, you are giving the child a sense of belonging. Try to teach, work on projects, and play on a level that your child is familiar with. This helps them bond with you and makes you seem more approachable.
Show them Respect
The respect they say is reciprocal, it is not a one-side thing. Just as you expect them to respect you are their parent, you can build a positive parent-child relationship when you also respect them. Respect their individual feelings, belief, and opinions.
When a child’s view is respected, he or she feels relevant and important. The love and care that you offer to your child to build a healthy and positive relationship. But, some behavioral problems can lead to a poor Parent-child relationship. According to Sandra Scarr
Children are just different from one another, especially in temperament. Some are shy, others bold; some active, others quiet; some confident, others less so. Respect for individual differences is in my view the cornerstone of good parent-child relationships.
Parent and Child Relationship Quotes
According to azquotes.com here are some quotes on Parent and child’s Relationship
Always encourage them
In life, children are always committed and active you whatever they are doing when they are constantly encouraged and motivated. Encouragement helps to build their self-confidence and self-esteem.
Even when you notice they are doing something wrong, correct them immediately especially if that was their first time of making that mistake. You can politely correct them without making them feel they are valued.
When your child has a strong relationship with you, they feel empowered to go out into the world and take on challenges. Be a supporter of your child, pushing them to develop greater self-efficacy over time.
However, you can encourage them by letting them wash their personal stuffs; take on more demanding chores or tasks, stand op to bullies or speak up when maltreated by elder ones.
Factors that destroys Parent-Child Relationship
Strengthening a parent-child relationship is very vital and can be beneficial to both parents and children. Notwithstanding, these relationships can be ruin or destroy which will lead to a negative parent-child relationship.
The relation that you form with your children during the early years forms the foundation for their later years. If the early parent-child relationship is strained due to various problems, your child’s personality will be affected. These are some factors that can destroy Parent-child Relationship
The abuse I mean can be physical or mental abuse. Some parents who are addicts can abuse their children physically either by beating or shouting at them at every slightest mistake they make.
They can sometimes criticize them by telling them how useless they are, the misery they have to turn their lives into especially if the child was born out of wedlock.
Abuse during childhood could damage the child or even turn the child into abusive adults who ill-treat their parents and children, creating a vicious cycle.
Like I said earlier, respect is reciprocal. It is a two-way thing not one way and it has to be earned not demanded. As a parent, you need to provide for the child physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually.
If any of these needs are not taken care of, then children begin to disrespect the parents. Such children tend to disobey the parents, break the rules, and rely more on others for their needs and desires.
Also, you need to give due respect to the child in the way you talk and behave with them.
This can be really bad both for the parent and child I tell you. It can be frustrating at times. Poor or nonexistent communication between the parent and child stems from the parents’ belief that their children don’t listen to them, and children thinking that their parents don’t understand them.
However, it might result in the parent bothering about the child or trying to find out what is really going on in the child’s life. On the other hand, the child might feel anger, bitterness, and sorrow because he thinks that nobody cares.
Another factor that can ruin Parent-Child Relationships is codependency. This is a situation whereby the child forcibly starts taking the responsibilities due to the parents. This occurs mostly when the parents are handicap or seriously sick.
So, the child takes on the responsibility of making the parent happy, resolves family problems, or even takes up the daily chores at home. They might also put their parents’ needs before theirs, and grow up to have a codependent personality.
If children repeatedly make mistakes or display unruly behavior, then parents have difficulty trusting them. If parents want to reestablish their trust, then they need to give their children the opportunity to prove that they are trustworthy.
It’s a fact that parenting is not easy. But then, it is up to you as the mature and responsible adult, to create a healthy and loving bond with your child that makes life easy for both of you. However, if you have severe problems with your child and are unable to deal with them on your own, know that help is at hand. Consult a professional counselor to help your child and yourself.
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