Emotional manipulation is debilitating to basic life. This is one thing dating a narcissist can bring to your table. Although this sounds hard to take in, there are still some brutal truths about these folks you’re yet to learn here.
Before we proceed, I understand you may have been going through a lot to have looked up this topic, yeah.
It could it be you or your partner. Whichever way, there is nothing to panic about yet. I’s not a completely hopeless situation because you will be fine in the end.
Apparently, the word “Narcissist” isn’t new but it’s connotation is. That’s why I took the fall for you to gain more knowledge about this topic.
Do you really know who a Narcissist is?
Have you been looking for help on how to identify them?
Look no further chum, I will gladly lead you through the soil which embodies the level of insight you seek.
This article unveils the truth about Narcissist and Signs that tells if you Are dating a Narcissist or not.
The table of contents below gives an overview of all wrapped in this article.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
We do encourage people with low self-esteem to build it up by starting to think highly of themselves. We preach and teach Self-love but it becomes an ailment when one becomes overly selfish.
Like, everything it’s just about you. You make yourself happy at the detriment of others.
It is not a good one, believe me.
A narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health situation in which someone has an overblown sense of superiority.
According to healthline.com, Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which people have an inflated opinion of themselves. They also have an intense need for the admiration and attention of others.
They believe and show they are better than everyone else by all means but right inside them is a void that needs to be filled with praises, kind words and serious attention just to make them feel important.
A narcissistic personality disorder is common among men. I don’t know why it is so but what we are focused on is how to help people who are suffering from it, real quick.
We are also concerned about the people around them who are not having such a good time keeping up with them.
A person with a narcissistic personality disorder is called a Narcissist.
Being around this kind of people could be frustrating because they are often paranoid, they are usually overwhelmed with sadness and they complain about everything and anything.
The last thing a person with Narcissistic personality disorder would want to hear from you is that they are not okay, like abnormal.
They would never believe that. So, it takes patience and lots of sacrifices to keep such a person if you really want to be with them. Do not try to talk them into getting treatment, it will most likely not end well.
Okay, have you been wondering how you can identify people with Narcissistic personality disorder and how to manage them and get them to help eventually?
Signs you are dating a Narcissist
Below are 15 dominant signs that you are dating a Narcissist man and how to get away.
#1. Narcissist are confident
Even though their confidence is not from a good place, they still get people falling over themselves because they want to be with them.
Yes, they are highly charismatic and this is what attracts people to them. There is never a dull moment with narcissists. The thing you should be worried about is whether their energy would drain yours or not.
#2. They abhor Commitment
This is one of the signs that you’re dating a narcissist man. Normally, Narcissists fear staying committed to one partner, a job, or business because they think its kind of weird.
They don’t like being tied down at a place or being put in a corner where they would have to depend on another for survival. They like to think that they are in control of their emotions when in an actual sense they are not.
Your happiness is not their priority they believe. All they are after is how you can make them happy, how you can keep the relationship going and what they could get from you.
#3. They Gaslight You
Dating a narcissist isn’t such an amazing experience.
These people are highly manipulative. They could make you doubt your reality and your sanity even.
A person with a narcissistic personality disorder could make you feel you are an abnormal person. They would do everything to keep their heads above the waters.
You can never find them taking the blame and apologizing even for the things they do right. Never!
They would guilt-trip you into believing that you are always wrong.
Making up your mind to be with a narcissist is like taking a bold step to lay down your life for another. Yes, that’s what it is. You are practically living for them.
#4. Overblown Sense of Superiority Nature.
All that a Narcissist wants in a relationship is to always be on top; superiority. In short, it’s no news that narcissists are usually power-drunk.
I’m sure this assertion is not new to your ears. They are thirsty for power and they could go miles to get it and ensure it doesn’t slip away from them.
Their quest to always be in control is very unhealthy. You don’t need a prophet to tell you that you are in an abusive relationship when all your partner does is to monitor your growth and try everything possible to keep you beneath them.
For example, Narcissists likes to take over conversation and stretch longer than normal, they don’t care if you are comfortable with what their saying or not, you just have to pay attention.
Also, your opinion doesn’t count so they won’t give you the opportunity to speak your truth. They are highly opinionated.
#5. Loss of Interest within a Short Time
This set of people could scream your name from the rooftops just to tell the world how much they love you few days into the relationship.
Yes, that’s how far they can go to find love but they tend to lose interest in the relationship faster than you thought. Why is that?
A man/woman with a troubled mind constantly feels like the universe is against them. They feel the need to break free from what is not troubling them while they chase after things that would break them and leave them running back empty, to their vomit.
This will lead us to the next sign.
#6. They Love-bomb You
Narcissists would want to leave you but they do not expect you to let them leave. They would want you to leave them but can’t let you go.
How do they do this?
It’s very simple, they are con artists, powerful one. They trick you into believing they have stopped that bad habit you pointed out after a fight or after threatening to quit the relationship just to keep you welded to themselves.
The truth is, you’ll still see them do what you thought they had stopped doing, over and over again. They never want a breakup, so if you are in such a situation at the moment, just stay hopeful.
Do not be hard on yourself for choosing them and do not push for a change so hard. Time will be fair to you, hopefully.
#7. Grandiose Self Image
One of the character traits of people with a narcissistic personality disorder is their unfeeling nature. Their inability to be expressive and let other people into their den without having the “I am doing them a favor” mindset.
They don’t care about your beliefs and values as their partner, all they care about is life and all it has in store for them.
If you are not careful at this point with a narcissist you will lose yourself.
Because you are giving out love and affection you are not getting back, which will leave you dry and empty.
Now, I don’t think you deserve that but if you desire to walk through that path with your partner, it’s totally okay.
You will know you are dating a Narcissist when all they do is carve out u specific pattern of life for you, they authorize you to do all they want you to do and not all that you desire to do.
The most annoying part of it is that they see nothing wrong with that. They believe they own you.
Someone with narcissistic personality disorder will make sure you are doing the job he approved, you drive the car he wants you to drive, you cook the food he wants and at the time he want whether or not it is convenient for you.
He doesn’t give a damn!
This is one of the common signs you’re dating a narcissist if your guy has such a trait. Egomaniacs usually struggle with accepting their true selves.
The funny thing is that they doubt that they are enough but they would want their partner to actually believe that they are enough, perfect, and genuine.
How is that even possible when they constantly tag every of their partners behavior to them not being worthy enough to be loved and respected by them.
That’s how complicated their lives is. They want people to constantly sing their praises and blow their trumpet while they do the exact opposite.
#10. Narcissist Hardly Trust
If you’re dating someone that you find it difficult to earn his trust, there is every tendency that you’re dating a narcissist. One common thing about narcissists is that they find it difficult to trust their partner.
It is very difficult for them to trust that they would never leave them for a better man. They find it hard to trust them with some of their secrets like, how much they earn monthly. Where they bought a new land and stuff like that.
They find it difficult to trust that the love a partner has for them is genuine and this may be the reason for not being super expressive.
#11. They Do Not Respect Boundaries
Narcissists do not know when and where to draw the lines. A Narcissistic person will invade her partner’s privacy even when they know it’s not the right thing to do.
They tend to do whatever comes to their mind without considering the effects of their actions on their partner.
In some cases, they would touch that file you warned them not to touch just to prove to you that they are still in control. In their words, ” It is ours, you can’t do anything. I did this because I love you and I care about your wellbeing” oh well, they won’t tell you but I will.
The reason they checked the content of that file is to know what you are keeping away from them.
Like, is it something that could make you more outstanding than they are and you begin to disrespect them? Or Is it something you would want to use against them?
Honestly, dating a narcissistic man is difficult but the thought of them getting treated and being normal again would make you want to stick with them through it all.
In the end, it’s worth it. But lots of patience, a lot of it is required.
12. They are Chronic Cheats
Why would such a person cheat? Hey, I know you want to ask that question and I’m here to answer.
Self-doubt could make a narcissist cheat because they feel they are not enough and seek favorable validation from men. Anyone who makes them feel better than their authentic partner is automatically a “Sweet heart”
A high sense of superiority: This could also be the reason for their unfaithful lifestyle.
Because they want to prove they could do anything and get away with it.
So, sometimes it’s not because you are not enough, it is because they feel the only way to remain relevant is by doing those things that everyone else considers to be abnormal.
It’s never your fault, don’t be hard on yourself. They are simply living.
#13. They Belittle You.
If your partner focuses more on your weaknesses than your strength, then that’s a sure sign you’re dating a narcissist.
Narcissists have this habit of making you feel like they did you a favor by loving you. They make you feel like you’re the worse kind of human and that you aren’t worthy of love.
Pay no attention to their tricks, the plan is just to make you doubt your authenticity and reduce you to whatever level they want, just so they could play with your mind by making you feel indebted to them for loving you.
#14. They Never Say “I’m sorry”
Narcissists find it difficult to use the word “I’m sorry” because they feel it would reduce them to nothing. They believe weaklings apologize first, so they never apologize.
Some of them would rather use the phrase “It won’t happen again” than say “I am sorry”.
Most times, they look for a way to blame their partner for everything, including their own crime.
That’s how bad it is.
#15. They love being worshipped
You are a narcissist number one enemy if you constantly feel the need to challenge them.
They want someone who will buy all their ideas and practically bow to lick the ground they step on.
You don’t have to be. They are addicted to praises. They barely can’t live without it but they find it difficult to appreciate another.
Well, I believe we have to earn whatever we desire and this could only be achieved by work, hard work.
When you want something you work towards achieving it. Nothing of a great value comes easy and people with Narcissistic personality disorder is not an exception. They are of a great value because they are humans too.
So, if you have chosen to be with one, you must learn to look beyond their flaws and master the art of sacrifice. Yes, see your inputs in their lives as a sacrifice which would be rewarded someday.
In case you have made up your mind to be with them regardless of their unhealthy demeanor, I have put together some tips that would help you achieve that.
Yes. its true that dating a Narcissist can be difficult and demanding, but that doesn’t mean Narcissist can’t love and be loved.
So, if you just found out that you’re dating a narcissistic man and you are really in love with this guy, you can make it work. You don’t have to give up on the relationship yet.
You may now ask, “How?”
The next subheading answers the question “How?”
Just follow me closely….
How to Make a Relationship with a Narcissist Work
The following are tips on how to make a relationship with a narcissist work
1. Find out why you would want to be with this person.
Be sure about those things that are leading you to them, is it something you can deal with? Can you keep up even when you stop getting them? Can you find them in another person?
Yeah, you have the best answers to these questions and your answers will guide you correctly on what decision to take.
2. Master the Art of Sacrifice
Understand that this person is not fully okay, whatever you do for them may not be appreciated to the level you want or the way you want.
That is life! It is all about sacrifices. Do not be weary no matter the level of provocation or neglect.
3. Accept the Mistrust
It hurts really bad when someone you love find it difficult to trust you but if you must make your relationship with a narcissist work, you must learn to live with that truth. The truth that they don’t and probably can’t trust you.
Quit raising dust whenever they fail to trust you with something.
4. Quit Trying to Help Them Heal
I know it hurts but the truth is, you can’t heal someone who sees nothing wrong in what they are doing. The only help you could render is to be there for them always, who knows?
That could be all they need to heal.
5. You Must Learn to Love Yourself
People treat you the way you treat yourself. You must learn to love yourself the way you want to be loved by another.
Speak highly of yourself when they belittle you. Say you are enough when they say you are not.
However, we do not encourage you to lose your life in an abusive relationship. Know when to quit.
When to quit is when you’ve emptied your jar of patience, smart work, and surrender with no positive result. That is when to quit.
Now, below are some tips on how to get out of a relationship with a narcissist.
How to Get Out of a Relationship with a Narcissist
The following tips can help you quit a relationship with a Narcissist if it’s not working out.
1. Start building a strong relationship with other people
Dating a narcissist is quite draining. It drains you of all your energy because you have them funneled on one source which draws from you and never refills.
This would make you feel depleted emotional and seize connection with friends who truly care. So, when you are done with a narcissist the first thing to do is to strengthen your relationship with close friends.
It will make your toxic partner start noticing some changes in you like, instead of crying yourself to sleep after a fight with them, you call a friend and talk about things that would lighten your mood.
This would bruise a narcissist ego and bring them back to the reality that they are not always in control.
2. Keep Records of all that Happened
Narcissist would say they didn’t do it, when they actually did. You need proves to gain your freedom. You do.
3. Alert Friend and Family
You can’t fight this alone, you need a strong support system even while you heal.
You need to be cared for after going through series of emotional abuse. Tell your story without mincing words.
4. Train Your Mind to Break Free
Sometimes, our mind hinder us. What we have running in there could alter our plans and give us a different direction.
Let your mind be done when you are done. Stop it from making you feel you are about to make the worse decision ever.
Nurture your mind to accept your truth.
Remind Yourself you Deserve Better
Yes, you do. You deserve to be loved by someone who is not scared of expressing his feelings and sees strength in your weakness.
You deserve someone who is willing to make sacrifices for you and feel comfortable doing that.
5. Walk Away and Move on.
Moving on is one of the ways on how to get out of a relationship with a narcissist. It is one thing to leave an abusive partner but it takes a strong person to really leave and move on.
Thoughts of your ex would creep in once in a while but that doesn’t mean you should go stalking on them and reading the old texts they sent you.
No, you will never heal
Find what makes you happy and be unapologetically distracted by it. You owe no one any explanation.
Talk therapy is the best form of treatment for people with narcissistic personality disorder. If you are such a person or you know someone, interact more with people and trust your healing process.
You are okay.
You are enough.
It takes time, just give it time.
You will heal.